Are You Giving Your Kid A Smartphone For Middle School?
My oldest kid is starting middle school this year. He’s had a Gizmo watch up until now. We are contemplating whether having a device tethered to his wrist is the right thing– it can potentially be more distracting than a phone that can be put away. We are contemplating whether he needs a phone to meet up with friends and make plans. —and whether we want him doing that without us anyway. We’ve had a lot of discussions about whether to going with the Gizmo or upgrade to some sort of phone. I documented our thought process in the hopes it might help parents who are also figuring this out.
I will start by saying, every family is different. Everyone should do what works for them. Here’s where we are:
After ALOT of thought and ALOT of research we decided our child needs:
A way to communicate with me and my husband and LIKELY also needs a way to communicate/meet up with his friends after school.
Reliable time management tools that I or my husband controls. ←So this right here takes iPhone off the table. There is a persistent bug in Apple parental screen time controls (Apple is aware and has been in no rush to fix it—its been literal years).
Our child does NOT need:
The internet in his pocket ← This honestly takes all smartphones off the table. Because while you can disable browsers, there are sneaky ways to get to the internet– especially on iPhones.
I think it's important to clarify here that I'm not saying he can’t use the internet, I just don’t think he needs it with him all the time. If needs to look something up he can do that at home.
Social media ← this also takes all smartphones off the table. I just would prefer to avoid the temptation of even seeing it in the app store
A “cool’ phone ← iPhones are the coolest phone option and many kids only want that. I am choosing to not factory this in and brace for whatever blowback I may get. Functionality and safety trump cool.
We also want the option/flexibility to:
Keep an eye on group text and possibly disable group text entirely ← This also takes iPhone off the table because you cannot monitor texts on an iPhone and you cannot disable group texts either. Note: these actions are both possible on Android although it's pretty clunky.
All of these requirements lead us to the parent managed phones. I have talked about these before but to refresh your memory they are:
Of these parent managed phones, we are looking to:
Manage/monitor texting relatively easily
See text messages in their entirety not just keyword flags ← This takes Gabb and Bark off the table for us as they are keyword flagging only and I just feel like if we find we need to monitor we may actually need to closely investigate in which case we’ll want to see it all. And, I am just not confident that flagging can’t possibly get everything. Language evolves hyperfast– I just learned what a GYAT is last week!
Control/add apps of our choice relatively easily ← This takes Troomi out for us since you can only add apps from their library of apps. Is there a specific app we need to add that is outside their app library..no. But will there be some team app or something we don’t know about yet but will need to add? Probably…so we want the option.
This led us to Pinwheel. To recap it
Will allow our kid text with his friends after school
Has no internet or app store
Has text monitoring (parents can see all the texts)
Has ability to disable group message (or just not set it up in the first place)
Has reliable time controls
Has a way for parents to add apps as needed
A wrinkle to consider
BUT, the idea that giving a phone as a right of passage to start middle school isn’t really sitting right. And if I’m honest, I’ve been obsessing about this decision but my kid hasn’t really been asking. So, we decided that we will start the year AS IS with the Gizmo and see what it’s like. If and when he really wants a phone, we’ll to make it something he can earn. Middle School is a big change and we want to make sure he’s getting everything done that he needs to. So, good grades, reading more, eating and being healthy will likely be fashioned into a specific goal.
Back to the Pinwheel
That said, if you were with me up until I said we’re not pulling the trigger right now or very soon, I’ve got you. I have a little to share then you’ll be fully ready to hit purchase.
Like all phones, once you pick the brand, there are like 75 different devices or services levels to choose from. Of course.
For us, our 11 year old doesn’t need the latest phone with 5G access so most likely we will choose one of the starter phones. I think probably the Genesis.
As of this publishing it looks like Pinwheel shipping is taking about a week.
If you’re not fully convinced and what more info, please check out the resources I’ve linked in the next section.
Good luck out there and if you are currently in the market, let me know what you choose !
Resources
Affiliate Links & Promo Codes
When I started researching phones, I reached out to all the parent managed phone brands to ask for affiliate links and or promo codes. Please consider using them to shop, they help me too if you do!
Pinwheel- Affiliate link here
Bark-Affiliate link here
Gabb-Promo Code: DIGITALMOM for $25 off. Shop here
On Demand Course
I just did a virtual presentation about all the devices and their pro’s and con’s. If you're interested in , you can purchase it here.
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